Saturday, August 31, 2013

Many Loves

Source: Wikipedia
 
Many cannot imagine being so lucky as to have a secure relationship with a thoughtful, caring, significant other. I, for one, know that this kind of relationship is not a given, and when found, must be nurtured and held on to through individual growth and disagreement.

Now imagine, if you can, having this kind of relationship with two or more thoughtful, caring, significant others. I've thought about this kind of relationship and pondered the possibilities and pitfalls of such an endeavor. Although my personal nature and personality would not bode well in this type of relationship, I know many who feel they would be right at home, and completely satisfied loving more than one and being loved by more than one, in a committed relationship.

What I'm talking about here is a lifestyle prescribed to by about five percent of our American population -- I'm talking about Polyamory.

Polyamory is a lifestyle choice involving numerous (or endless) loving relationships intertwined within a closed group. This could be just three individuals or more. It can involve any combination of lifestyles including: gay, straight, bi, or even BDSM.

I know what you're thinking. "But, what does this have to do with erotica?"

Well, it is something that intrigues me as a writer of erotica because of the dynamics of such a relationship. Whether we want to admit it or not, sex, love, and relationships are all intertwined. One often affects another. Yes, I understand that sometimes sex is just about sex but, as many of my readers know, I like to add these elements to my stories for exploration. Okay, so maybe I also like to add shape shifters and other supernatural beings, along with religious twists but hey, it"s all good.

Many, many years ago, I had a friend that confided in me her greatest sexual fantasy. She told me that this act was something she had always wished for, and would bring her sexual fulfillment, but she was afraid to actually make it happen. She thought that once this fantasy came to fruition, she would be left with no other fantasy in her mind. I assured her that, by the time this fantasy was fulfilled, she would already be craving another.

Her fantasy involved multiple partners. I think five was her number -- all men, and all at once.

Anyway, my story idea involves a woman with two men. I want to bring out the element of sexual fulfillment my main character finds in this relationship but also want to express why the character might find personal fulfillment beyond sexual in this style of relationship.

What are your thoughts on this type of relationship?

In researching this article, I found that most erotica seems to revolve around threesomes with one man and two women. I guess that is the belief held by the populace, or maybe the fantasy held by those reading erotic stories.

What about a woman involved with two men? I know this is the formulaic 'love triangle' but I would want the relationship to be open. I would imagine though, in real life, there might be conflict arising from such an arrangement.

Source: openexchange.org
 
If you would like to research this lifestyle, here are a couple of links to get you started:
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

http://www.livescience.com/27128-polyamory-myths-debunked.html

http://www.examiner.com/article/polyamory-the-news
 

What are your thoughts on this? Would you read a story based on this type of relationship, or a story of the formation of this type of relationship? Please tell me your thoughts by commenting below.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This kind of relationship has always intrigued me and I'd love to read about it... funnily enough I was having this same discussion with a group of friends and my partner was also present. Of course the males in the group were totally fine with threesomes which involved two girls but yet when two men were brought into the picture they were not so open minded and the whole atmosphere changed... in their eyes women can not detached feeling away from sex and its an automate betrayal to want to have two males worshipping over your body, but I still don't get why men can fantasises about two women but it is frown apon when a women has a fantasy of laying down with two men.

Ellison James said...

Thank you for your comment. I understand what you question and that is exactly what I want to discover. I guess with men, it is a kind of ego lift to pleasure, and maybe even satisfy two or more women, but men do not understand, or approve of that same standard for women. Why should it be so odd that a woman might gain some sense of accomplishment or power with two or more men. Furthermore, what if a woman or man truly has feelings beyond sexual for more than one person. How does this work. It seems, to me anyway, this type of relationship would require a great amount of emotional maturity. I am deeply interested in the dynamics of this type of relationship. It seems that conflict and emotion would be prevalent in all parties involved.